"So what would happen."
"You'd be blown into a million pieces."
"Yeah I know that, I'm saying what would happen after?"
Dome put his controller down to turn and look at me. I continued playing and tried to get my guy to sprint out of the open field and dive under cover before another wave of rockets came falling down and sure enough, my guy's limbs went flying every which way leaving me with the big Gears of War skull stamped across my now red tinted screen. "Fuck it." The xbox turned off and I grabbed Dome's biohazard bong. I packed the keefiest bowl and handed it to Dom with the fattest smile. He looked into the bowl piece and gave me a quick grin when he noticed the keef before holding out a hand for me to high hive.

I took a hit soon after he was done and I let him pack the next bowl while I grabbed my controller again, ready for a second go. While I let the xbox load again, I turned back to Dome, "So what would happen after? What would it be like?" He frowned and thought to himself for a bit, "Well that completely depends on which is right. If we're to go with the religious answer then we each have a soul. And I would assume that if you were dying, you'd feel yourself lose consciousness and then bam, you're back chilling by St. Peter, or something. But if we're going by what we see now, that maybe the order (or disorder) of the universe isn't scripted, or mapped, or planned, but just as is, then...I dont know. You just dont even know when it happens I guess. It's just over."

It's just over. I tried to imagine what it would feel like, not existing. I tried, and I tried, and I kept trying even harder than the millions of times I've tried before before coming to the same conclusion that I couldn't try because I can't not exist without actually dying. "What about the DMT?"
Dom looked at me, "What?"
"The DMT. What if it all depends on whether or not you get the DMT while you're dying? If you're just on your deathbed and you start to ebb away before your brain releases the DMT, then youd see your parents or friends again and 'the light' and all that great stuff. And if you're like Fenix," at that moment, my player (Marcus Fenix) was bombarded with another set of rockets and once again, blew up into bits. "There's no time for your brain to release that DMT. What would happen?" My eyes felt red already and I kept grinning in between my sentences. Dome likewise was sitting lower in his chair, his mouth open and his eyes half closed before he registered my sentence. He turned to look at me and kept trying not to laugh while he said, "I guess you'd just be living. And then you're not. You dont' go anywhere, you just get fucked up and dont exist."

He burst out laughing.
I completely understood.
So we sat there laughing at the idea.


We laughed and laughed until we couldn't hear,
and we cried and cried until we couldn't see.